Are You Struggling to Get Matches on Dating Apps? Here’s Why.
Online dating can feel like a minefield. You want to make a great first impression, so you play it safe—writing a profile that sounds polished, friendly, and… just like everyone else’s.
But playing it safe is actually keeping you single.
When you try to appeal to everyone, you blend in instead of standing out. And if your profile doesn’t stand out, your dream match will never notice you.
I know this because I made the same mistake.
How I Sabotaged My Own Online Dating Experience
For years, I dated a series of men who weren’t the right matches for me. They looked good on paper, checked all the right boxes, but something was always missing.
After a few heartbreaks, I took a step back and had a tough realization:
I had been hiding the real me for fear of rejection.
I wasn’t being dishonest, but I was definitely dimming my light. I was already feeling rejected for the small part of myself that I had shared, so I assumed it would hurt even worse if I shared more—if I shared who I truly was.
So, I played it safe.
I kept my quirks under wraps, avoided anything too much or out there, and wrote my dating profile in a way that I thought would appeal to as many people as possible. But all that did was attract the wrong people.
The moment I stopped doing that—when I started sharing my true interests, quirks, and even the things I thought I might be judged for—everything changed. And that’s when I met my husband.
Instead of watering myself down, even though it felt scary, I leaned into what made me unique. And the ones who weren’t into it? They were never my people anyway.
The #1 Mistake Online Daters Make After a Bad Experience
A lot of people make the same mistake I did. If they don’t get a great response early on, instead of being more authentic, they double down on playing it safe.
They remove anything that might be polarizing, strip away their quirks, and try to be as broadly appealing as possible.
But here’s the truth:
🚫 The more you try to please everyone, the fewer people will be truly excited to match with you.
Take dealbreakers, for example. If you know you don’t want kids, there’s a right way—and a wrong way—to say that.
❌ What Not to Do:
Instead of: Not mentioning at all that you know you don't want kids
🔹 Why This Doesn’t Work: If having kids is a dealbreaker for you, not stating it upfront can lead to wasted time, emotional investment, and awkward conversations down the road. Clarity from the start is key.
✅ A Better Way to Say It:
"I love my freedom and spontaneity, and I’m looking for a partner who’s excited about a life without kids. If you feel the same, we’ll probably get along great!"
🔹 Why This Works: It’s clear, confident, and positive. You’re setting expectations without making it sound like a rejection. You're also saving both yourself and your potential matches from unnecessary frustration by being upfront.
How to Write a Dating Profile That Attracts the Right Matches
Here’s my challenge for you: Go back to your dating profile and ask yourself…
✅ Am I playing it too safe?
✅ Am I trying to appeal to everyone?
✅ Am I holding back who I really am?
If the answer is yes, it’s time to rewrite your profile.
💡 Include your passions, quirks, and what makes you unique.
💡 Make it easy for the right person to recognize you.
💡 Own your dealbreakers, but share them in a way that invites the right match instead of repelling everyone.
And here’s a big clue that you’re not being specific enough:
🚨 If pretty much anyone who reads your description of what your dream partner is like would say, "Yeah, that’s me," then you haven’t gone deep enough. 🚨
A great dating profile should make the right people feel excited and the wrong people self-select out.
If you need help striking the right balance, working with my online dating profile writer will make it easy. She’ll help you create a profile that highlights your personality, attracts the right matches, and ensures you never fall into the trap of playing it safe again.
Because trust me—when you stop hiding and start being your real self, that’s when the right person will recognize you. Just like mine did.